Adoption Benefit

We are having an all you can eat spaghetti dinner and silent auction to help raise money for our adoption costs. There will be a live band, karaoke, a 50/50 chance game, a coloring contest for kids and much fun to be had. This is an event for everyone of all ages and we highly encourage you to bring your families and friends. You can purchase tickets ahead of time through either myself or Jessie. They are $8 for adults and $5 for children ages 3-10 (children under 2 get in free) or you can pay at the door on the day of the benefit for a dollar more. Doors will be opening at 4:30 pm and dinner starts at 5:00 pm. The silent auction will be going throughout the night and the winners will be announced at 8:30 (you don't have to be present to win). Please email either myself or Jessie at onderdonk1514@comcast.net and we will work out details with you to get you tickets. Any questions please don't hesitate to ask!! We hope to see you out there, we're pretty much gonna have a big fun party! :)

Saturday February 2, 2013 5:00pm - 10:00pm at the Goshen VFW 1201 W Pike Goshen, IN (across from Hopper's and Maple City Bowl)

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/babyonderdonkadoption/29483

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

We're in a Hurry, but God's Not

We're in a Hurry, but God's Not

by Joyce Meyer - posted November 16, 2012

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven.
—Ecclesiastes 3:1

“Let nature take its course.” This is a phrase we often hear another way of saying, "Settle down and let things happen according to the prescribed timetable." With each of our four children, I was pregnant ten months. After the birth of the fourth one, my doctor finally said, "You are the only woman I know who stays pregnant as long as an elephant." Needless to say, it was a difficult experience. Who knows? Maybe God was trying to teach me, even back then, how to wait properly.

We never learn patience without something to be patient about. Patience is something that has to be worked in us — it doesn't just appear. The fruit of patience is in our spirits, because as children of God, the Holy Spirit is resident within us.

But for patience to be expressed through our souls (our mind, will, and emotions), a work must be done in us. Once the prescribed time of waiting for the birth of each of my children had passed, I tried everything imaginable to bring on labor. I walked, took castor oil, worked harder than usual, hoping it would help "speed things up." With one of them, I even went into the hospital so the doctor would induce labor. It didn't work; I was sent home. The doctor basically said, "Go home and let nature take its course."

My advice to you from the Word of God and from my experience in life is, "Don't be in such a big hurry." You may be "pregnant" with dreams for your life, but you may also be trying to have your "baby" out of season. We can make huge messes in our lives, and sometimes get upset with God because things didn't work out the way we thought the Lord said they would. Things will happen as God said if we wait on His timing. We are the ones in a hurry. God is not in a hurry!

Stay busy delighting yourself in the Lord, and let Him give you what He wants you to have. If God has placed the desire in you, you can be assured that He will bring it to birth in the right season. Wait on God for direction and instruction on how to proceed, do what He tells you or shows you, but don't go beyond that.

I enjoyed reading this article by Joyce Meyer. Its a nice reminder that we are on God's time for our Adoption. God would like us to enjoy the journey. He wants us to enjoy  his company as we enjoy his. 

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

 http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/babyonderdonkadoption/29483

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

These are all excellent books by Joyce Meyer:. 

The Confident Woman Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations

Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind

Never Give Up!: Relentless Determination to Overcome Life's Challenges

Conflict Free Living: How to build healthy relationships for life

Our first seminar

On Wednesday Jessie and I went to Indy for our first adoption seminar. It was amazing! So much information to go over and pray about. We were both very impressed with their honesty and "no holds bar" attitude. We are both still very concerned about the cost, but have definitely agreed that Adoption Support Center is a possibility for us to find the right birth mom.

I'll try to give you the costs as we have them in front of us. I'll also try to explain as best I can what each item entails. Like I said, it was a lot of information and I don't think we've fully absorbed it all yet.

Information Seminar (which we went to Wed) - $35
Registration Fee -$325 (the seminar fee gets applied to this, bringing it to $290)
Home Study - $1500 + federal mileage (since they are coming from Indy it will be approx 400-500 miles round trip at approx .40 per mile totaling $160-$200)
  *Includes: office interview, adoption class, pre-adoption home visit (to make sure the home environment is fit for a child)
  *Ready the Nest- A class for first time parents, which is mandatory $115
Activation Fee - $1550 Fee is paid at class w/ submission of registration forms and Biography Folder (complete with required photos and Dear Birth Mother draft letter)
 *Includes: supplies, creation and distribution of bio to birth moms and final copy of bio to couple.
Marketing & Advertising Fee - $6,120 (since Jessie will be 40 next month, otherwise it would have been $4,080) The fee is to be paid at the time of the class.
Birth Mom Coordination Fee - $2,400 Fee paid upon receipt of home study draft and signature page
ASC Agency Placement Fee - $9,000 Paid 2 weeks prior to birth mom's due date (agency holds check until petition is filed or baby goes home with us whichever comes first.

All of these fees are non-refundable and some of them (from my understanding) expire. Which is why we want to get as much money in the "baby onderdonk savings acct" as possible before we start anything. We don't want to get half way through and run out of funds and have to start all over. That would not only be heartbreaking, but it would bust our pocketbook. The above prices are for the Domestic Plan for Caucasian & Hispanic Placements. At this time we are not looking to go International, as it is a whole lot more expensive and most countries require at least 2-2 week visits to the country.

We are looking at another plan that is "cheaper" that we are hoping could be the road God wants us to go down, or at least keep in mind. Again it is Domestic, but for African American & African American biracial Placements. We were told this is less expensive because they don't have to do the advertising like they do in the other plan. The prices are the same until you get to the Marketing & Advertising Fee. It is only $1,020 vs $6,120. Another huge difference is the Birth Mom Coordination Fee which is $600 vs $2,400. The ASC Agency Placement Fee is the same in both plans.

The grand total for Plan 1 is $21,175. The grand total for Plan 3 is $14,275. (Plan 2 is International in case you were wondering!)

So there ya go! That is the meat and potatoes of what we learned Wednesday. I'm not sure if Jessie wants to me to add anything to this, but I'm sure he'll have me type up something if he does. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. It truly means a lot to the both of us. All these figures mean is that we have to work hard to raise the money to bring our baby home. He/She is out there waiting for us. Anything you can do to help us bring him/her home would be a blessing! Much love to you!! xoxo

Alana & Jessie

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/babyonderdonkadoption/29483

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

One Dime Can Make a Difference

I was in a gas station while I was in line I realized that I was a dime short from having what I needed to pay for my item. I was like where am I going to get a dime. Standing there with my predicament a customer was pulling some change out of the change dispenser. She had dropped some change on to the floor. She picked up some of the change as she was walking out she said to the cashier “I dropped some change” then walked out the door. To my surprise there was a dime that I needed to pay for my item. Just before all this happened, I was thinking how are we were going to come up with the money to pay for our adoption. I was thinking to myself we will just have to have faith!

God was telling me that he will provide even as small as a dime. I don’t know how he will provide for the adoption, but it doesn't matter so long as we have faith in him. I was thinking of a verse in the bible about moving mountains.

Matthew 17:20

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

We really appreciate everyone’s support and prayers it means so much to us. Nothing is impossible with faith in God. We are all blessed!!

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Adoption Jewelry

These are necklaces that we made to help try to raise money for our adoption costs. Thank you for your support. If you're interested please email us at onderdonk1514@comcast.net. 

**Earrings coming soon**

These are $10 plus shipping.

These are $7 plus shipping.

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

God’s Purpose or Mine?

He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side . . . —Mark 6:45

 Oswald Chambers

We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.
What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.
God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.
God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Unofficially official??

We got some encouraging news today. Jessie called the Catholic Charities Adoption Program and we are unofficially on their list for adoption. Though the list closed last week and won't be reopened until April, we are on the waiting list if someone drops off of it and at the top of the list for April (we just have to call back then to confirm we're still interested). We also found out that since they are local (out of South Bend) we won't have nearly the costs as if we go with one of our other options, Adoption Support Center or Independant Adoption Center (IAC is affiliated with planned parenthood). God has definitely answered some questions for us as Monday I was in tears wondering how all of this was going to come to be. We are praising His name!! He will provide us with a child and, more importantly, provide a child with a loving home!!

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Got junk?

Jessie and I are planning on having a few garage sales in the spring and summer. If you have anything you'd like to get rid of (baby clothes, furniture, books, etc) we'd be glad to take it off your hands. Just contact one of us via facebook and we'll get you our phone number. I figured I'd put this out there now since a lot of people use winter time to gather up stuff no longer needed. Thanks in advance for anything you can contribute. :)

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Do you know anyone?

If anyone knows of anyone that may know someone that is looking into placing their baby up for adoption, please let them know Jessie and I are interested. We aren't just going down the one avenue of adoption support center. I just called planned parenthood and was referred to another agency. So I'm going to be calling them as well, but I want to put the word out there that we aren't just sticking with an adoption agency at this point. I don't know legally how that would work, but if the need arises we will contact an attorney to get the ball rolling. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! God bless you!

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Outting

We just got finished at GFS pricing food and necessities for the benefit dinner. They are estimating $170 for everything we'll need. I didn't think that was to bad of a price, but we're still going to wait and see if they can donate it completely or at least give us some discount. :) Every little bit helps, right? We also went to hobby lobby to see if we can find the jewelry stuff we need to make the necklaces/earrings I want to make/sell to raise money. Man, that crafty stuff is EXPENSIVE!! No wonder I've never gotten into it. LOL I'll have to check more places online, but I got a little bit to get started. I'll post pics to show you what they look like. If you're interested in buying something you can hit me up! :)

Have a wonderful day everyone!

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Our Story

Our Story

Jessie and I started dating in December of 1998 and we got pregnant in April of 1999. We were excited to start a family together even though we hadn’t been together for very long. We moved out of the house we shared with our three friends and into our own apartment. We started getting ready for a baby shower and were in the process of setting up the nursery when we found out (at a routine Doctors appointment) that our little boy had passed away. It was September 23^rd. I will never forget that day…The doctor told us that we could either induce the delivery or we could wait to see if my body would go into labor naturally. Of course I wanted to wait; I wanted to be pregnant with him longer. I was in denial. The doctor told us that was fine, but I couldn’t go longer than two weeks with the baby inside me. My body didn’t go in to labor, so I was induced. On Tuesday October 5, 1999, with only my mom, grandma, grandpa, and Jessie in the room, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. He had Jessie’s long skinny fingers and my chubby nose. Physically he was perfect. Walking out of that hospital with no baby was probably the most heartbreaking thing I’d ever had to do. At a follow up appointment the doctor told us we shouldn’t get pregnant again for a couple of years. So I went on birth control and we attempted to go on with our lives, even though we were each missing a part of our hearts.

On June 22, 2002 Jessie made me the happiest woman ever by becoming my husband. We decided that we’d waited almost three years and maybe we could finally start trying for a family again. So I got off birth control and we tried for a few months with no success. In April of 2007, I had gastric bypass surgery. I thought this is a way for me to get healthy and maybe it will help us to get pregnant. I will be able to chase our child around the playground and be around for his or her graduation. My surgeon said they advise couples to wait a year after surgery before getting pregnant. My heart sank a little; another year?! We’d already been waiting for eight years!! In March of 2008 I started my job at MSC. On my 3^rd day the lady who was training me (who I now refer to as my work mom) told me I was pale, my eyes were dilated and I was visibly shaking. I told her I felt very sick and thought I was going to pass out. She told me to sit on the floor while she went to get our supervisor. My supervisor called Jessie to come get me and we went straight to the emergency room. We got in to a room and after the examination they told us I had a tubal pregnancy and that I was being taken to the OR. I was so scared, happy and devastated all at the same time. I had truly come to believe we’d never get pregnant. But there was a shred of hope in the midst of sadness. When I left the hospital they told us that I had to go through at least two cycles before we could try to get pregnant again. I thought great, more waiting. We took the necessary precautions and in May we started trying again.

On September 5, 2008 the Onderdonk family lost a loving husband, father, uncle and an all-around wonderful man, Jessie’s dad. He loved his son and daughters so very much and he always treated me as if I were his very own daughter. Jess showed me in nine years of knowing him what being a real father means and I know that he passed this knowledge onto Jessie. At the end of September I started feeling sick again, similar to how I’d felt with the tubal pregnancy only without the severe pain in my lower abdomen. Again my supervisor called Jessie to come and get me and again we went to the emergency room. They did blood tests and found out I was two weeks pregnant, but I was in the process of miscarrying and there was nothing they could do to stop it. It was devastating to find out you were pregnant in the same breath that you find out you’ve lost it; it seemed so cruel. We went home that night heavy hearted but still refusing to give up hope. In August 2010 we had our friends Sara, Mikel and their son Evan living with us. I remember being late for my cycle so I took a pregnancy test. I was so excited that it was positive!! It was so faint that I ran to the other side of the house screaming for Sara to look at it. She got a big grin on her face and said yes, it’s positive!! So I called the doctor the next morning before I went in to work to make an appointment to be checked out, reminding them of my history. I got to MSC and almost immediately after starting to work I felt cramping in my abdomen. This time I skipped over talking with my supervisor and went to straight to his boss crying my eyes out. She knew my history so she had someone call Jessie to come and get me and off we went to the emergency room. They took blood tests again and found out I was about three to four weeks along, but yet again I was miscarrying and there was nothing they could do for me. They sent us home that night and I knew all the hope I had once had was gone. I couldn’t take any more lost pregnancies.

A friend of mine told me about a fertility doctor she had tried and said had a high success rate and was very nice, so I made an appointment with him. After telling him our history he told us what he thought was happening. I love the way he explained it. He said when a woman gets pregnant her body releases progesterone right about the two to three week mark. The progesterone is what sustains the pregnancy in the early weeks. Well the “worker” that was supposed to release the progesterone in me was “out to lunch”. The doctor said he must’ve ran to McDonald’s and forgot to do what he was supposed to do. He suggested we go on chlomid (which stimulates the ovaries to produce more eggs) and then on day 16 I was to take progesterone supplements. That was the most economical, easiest place to start. After about four months and $800 later we still weren’t pregnant so the doctor asked us if we wanted to take a more aggressive approach. Of course we said yes! On top of the chlomid and progesterone supplements we were going to do invitro-fertilization. We did that (and for the first time in my life I had to give myself a shot in the stomach) the first month at about $1200. It didn’t work. So here I’ve been on all these hormones for about 5 months and I think I went through every emotion there is in about a 15 minute time cycle all day: happy, sad, angry, depressed, giddy; lather, rinse, repeat. I truly believe Jessie and my co-workers wanted to kill me at times, especially when my friend Abbey caught me crying over the paper conveyor one day at work because it kept getting stuck. We decided we’d do one more round of IVF and if it wasn’t successful we’d go back to the cheaper route. Insurance doesn’t cover invitro because they had deemed me infertile even though my doctor hadn’t. The second round didn’t work either and I’d had enough of the drugs. I told Jessie we’d just let things happen as they’re supposed to.

I had it in the back of my mind that we should adopt the whole time we were doing the fertility treatments but in my mind it was giving up on having a child and was a last resort.

In February 2012 we joined our church, The Vineyard. We absolutely love going there. We’ve become closer to God and to each other. We have also learned that yes, God has promised us a child or children, He just never specified how we’d come to have these children. Then I got reconnected with my childhood best friend Bethany and had the privilege of meeting her husband Ryan. We found out they had been having trouble getting pregnant too and were in the process of adopting. That was what finally opened my eyes to the possibility. Adopting wasn’t a last resort; it was the answer to our prayers of becoming parents. We also met Jeremy and his wife Michelle (I work with Jeremy who had just recently started at MSC) and found out they have successfully adopted both domestic and internationally. They are the ones who introduced us to Adoption Support Center which is the agency we are using.

God put it on Jessie’s heart about four years ago that we needed to be debt free. He found Dave Ramsey and has totally become a “Dave nut” as I affectionately call him. We have currently paid off a little more than half of the $40,000 worth of debt we started with and are continuing to chip away at the balance, though not as fast as Jessie would like. When we started looking into adoption we were floored at how much it was going to cost. We were hearing as much as $40,000!! We kept thinking how are we going to do what God has called us to do when it costs so much? We found on ASCs website that they do interest free loans. We both thought “ok if we have to do that we will!” The avid Dave listener that Jessie is he was listening to his show and heard a story about a woman who wanted to get a loan to do IVF. Of course, Dave said no! She was already in debt about $30,000. Dave said, “There is not one example in the Bible of God calling someone to do something and then using debt as a tool to accomplish it!” As Jessie was telling me this he started to cry and said this is the answer from God that he needed. We can do this adoption without going further into debt. That is why we are here today. We are going to do everything in our power to raise money for our adoption. God has placed each one of you in our lives for a reason. Together God, you, Jessie and I are going to find a child who needs a family, a home and unconditional love. Everything every child deserves to have. Children truly are a gift from God. Please hug and kiss your children (whether they are young or all grown up) and remember what a wonderful gift you have been given. Thank you all for helping us get closer to bringing our gift home! We love you!!

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption  

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Initial Seminar

We are going to our initial seminar on Wednesday, November 14th. From there we are hoping to learn more details of what we need to do to officially get the adoption rolling. Our goal of $2500 will help with the seminar costs and to get our application and home study done. We will keep everyone updated on our future goals to bring Baby Onderdonk home!! 

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12094&url=babyonderdonkadoption

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Adoption is not about finding children for families, it's about finding families for children.
--Joyce Maguire Pavao

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/babyonderdonkadoption/29483

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

“However motherhood comes to you, it’s a miracle” – Valerie Harper

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/babyonderdonkadoption/29483

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

Dave Ramsey - "There is not one example in the Bible of God calling someone to do something and then using debt as a tool to accomplish it."

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/babyonderdonkadoption/29483

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk

This book changed our lives forever!!!! If you are stuck in a rut about money then this book is for you.

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

https://www.facebook.com/OnderdonkAdoption

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/babyonderdonkadoption/29483

http://www.gofundme.com/2cidgk